


Money For Your Love

by Anake14



Series: Money For Your Love [1]
Category: GoldenEye (1995), James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-05-23 19:10:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14940186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anake14/pseuds/Anake14
Summary: Heartache and mistakes are meant to help you grow. No one tells you that sometimes there are limits. No one tells you that those limits can lead to unexpected places with unexpected results.





	1. Setting the Stage

**Author's Note:**

> Been working on this idea for a while, but couldn't come up with a good enough beginning, so, now there is a beginning, but I'm in school so getting chapters out may take a while.

There are some lessons you learn in life that no one talks about. Maybe it hurts, maybe it’s out of kindness or hopes you never experience it, or maybe it’s one of those things no one can quite find the words to explain. It doesn’t change how much it hurts.

The first time Q saw James with Eve after their break-up, he hadn’t thought anything of it. The two had always flirted or made jokes that bordered on unprofessional.

The second time, James tucked a stray strand of Eve’s hair behind her ear.

The third time they were laughing over lunch.

Obvious as the signs were, Q had little time to ruminate over developments since things after their break-up had been hectic and he’d been wrapped up in projects for R&D. If he was avoiding James, well, no one could prove that. He was a busy man and had many things to do.

It isn’t until 006 returns that it honestly hits home and Q wishes to be anywhere, but the MI6 building.

“Privyet, Q,” he greets, carelessly leaning against the work station Q has more than once told the agents has sensitive experiments and devices prone to accidental trigger.

“006, back from Uzbekistan?”

“Indeed, indeed,” Alec nods, playfully teasing him. “It was nothing like you said at all dear Quartermaster. In fact, it was rather lively and not at all boring.”

“Planning your next vacation?” Q drily comments, taking the remains of his hard work from the kit he had given Alec before the mission.

Alec shrugs. “Who knows. Maybe next time James will join me.”

It’s subtle, but Q freezes as the man in question walks in with Eve, his arm casually wrapped around her waist as he whispers something in her ear. It makes Alec lean in towards Q, as he makes a questioning gesture over towards James.

“Q? Did something happen?” Alec says as Q shakes his head and unclenches the fist he hadn’t known he’d tightened.

“Don’t say anything, Alec,” Q softly reprimands. They’re at work in the heart of MI6. No need for others to know there’s more drama going on that could fuel more rumors than necessary.

“Aren’t you…?”

Before Alec can bother finishing the question, Q cuts him off. “Don’t. If that’s all 006?”

“Q…It was careless of me, to ask such a sensitive question right now, but I would like to speak with you later?”

“Of course,” Q agrees softly. Alec is a friend. Admittedly, the man was James’ friend first, but still a friend and he was trying. How could Q reject an overture at the man’s attempt to reach out to someone he hasn’t known as long as James?

“Later then,” Alec agrees, setting off with a nod.

When he leaves, Q sighs. Seeing James and Eve hadn’t gotten any easier. They were still his friends, but it is so very damn hard to pretend he’s okay. He has no idea how things happened, how they ended up this way, and it’s left him fumbling. Q has never been so uncertain in regards to himself.

Will James still listen to him? Does James feel any of the pain he does?

Instinctively, Q knows he’s trying to stay strong, but for a while he had still hoped James would return. It probably doesn’t matter. James seems to have moved on in quick succession and Q…Q refuses to beg. Begging never got him anywhere in life. He’s fought for all he has, but just once…just once he doesn’t want to have to fight. Just once, he doesn’t want to have to be strong. He’s just so tired.


	2. Penny For Your Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Work friendships are complicated. Q has no idea how to navigate a regular friendship, let alone one made by default. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Alec doesn't either, but he's willing to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really should have figured that the place I work would only schedule me for work on the days I have tests and finals. Homework is killer. I needed fluff. I don't know if this qualifies as anything other than awkwardly adorable though...

Q didn’t know why he’d agreed to this. It’s a bad idea. Alec is James’ best friend, the two would do just about anything for each other if Q read the two of them right. It’s a painful thought that now that James and he are nothing more than colleagues, he might lose another friendship in the process. Alec isn’t the most conventional friend he’s ever made, but he’s still a friend nonetheless.

Looking back, Q isn’t quite sure why Alec is friends with him.

“Q?”

“Hmm?” Q responds, barely present in their conversation as he looks around the lovely shop Alec dragged him out to lunch to dine in. It’s nothing like the places James used to take him, in fact, it’s almost distinctly the opposite. A warm family type atmosphere that is friendly and welcoming. It’s not in the least bit high class or fancy, it’s the type of place you bring someone you’re comfortable with to enjoy the food and company.

“You’re miles away, Q,” Alec comments.

“Just thinking,” Q says, idly taking note of the location. It’s the type of place he thinks he would enjoy coming back to on occasion.

“I’ve said it before Q, you’re welcome to talk to me. I know James can be…”

“Stop Alec,” Q cuts him off sharply, before looking away from Alec’s startled expression. Q looks down despondently and admits, “I don’t want to talk about him.”

Alec hums as their food arrives, whether in understanding or thoughtfully about what Q’s said, he isn’t sure, but Alec doesn’t speak again until they’re both half finished with their plates. “Penny for your thoughts, Q?”

“You always ask that and my response is always going to be that my thoughts are worth far more than a penny, Mr. Trevelyan,” Q answers automatically.

“Mr. …Mr. Trevelyan?” Alec huffs out in mock despair. “I’ve been demoted have I, _Mr. Q_?”

Q scoffs. “It’s hardly offensive to call you by _your name_ , Alec.”

“Better,” Alec smirks. “At least it wasn’t my designation.”

“We’re in public,” Q reminds him.

“So we are,” Alec says appraisingly. “In public and well away from any colleagues who could eavesdrop or those who we would not wish to hear our conversation be made aware.”

Q sighs. “Why won’t you drop it?”

“Believe it or not, boffin, you’re my friend too. James may be why we became friends, but it was never by default and I’d hazard to say you spend more time caring about us and worrying than an average friend would. I’m not ashamed to say you and James are pretty much the only two people in my life I’d willingly talk to if asked,” Alec admits to a startled Q.

That, Q thinks, is a confession the psych department would kill to have on file.

“I didn’t realize,” Q admits timidly. It’s the truth and the flash of hurt he can see flicker in Alec’s eyes is as astonishing as the confession of friendship. “No one has ever _wanted_ to be my friend without wanting something from me and then leaving.”

“Is that what James did?” Alec asks, his eyes darkening. Q almost thinks Alec is angry on his behalf, but honestly, Q can’t say that’s precisely what James did considering they never said they were exclusive or together for that matter.

“No, but I can’t help how I felt…feel,” Q says, his voice a bit choked. He’s upset, he’s angry at himself, because he wanted more, but didn’t know how to ask or tell James in a way that didn’t come off as him being needy or possessive in ways he knew James wouldn’t appreciate.

“Hey,” Alec softly whispers, “It’s not your fault, Q. James has his issues and neither you or I can help him with those. We both know how he can be and whatever his reasons, he’s probably running from something.”

“Or me,” Q says. It’s a possibility, but not a happy one.

Alec’s face softens. “He shouldn’t…I wouldn’t.”

“Alec?”

“I do care for you, Q. We may not be close or have the easy banter and flirting that you and James did, but I wouldn’t mind if you wanted more with me. More time as friends and hanging out, more time talking about your ideas or watching movies and making fun of them,” Alec comments. “If we became more later, or people misunderstood, well, it’s not like James has a claim on you.”

“Are you…what are you offering?” Q asks softly, hardly able to believe that this man could open up even this much to him. This seems more the type of conversation Alec, or really any of the 00s, would avoid.

“If you need me to be your cover so you won’t cry in front of James or need me to get you away from the situation, I want to be the one to help you. I want…I want you to consider being with me, even if we never make it past being friends.”

“You don’t…you don’t mind me being who I am?” Q asks hesitantly.

“Why would I?” Alec returns in kind. “You’re intelligent, curious, snarky, and won’t take shit from anyone, least of all me. Even if you weren’t the kind of person I want, you’re exactly the kind of person I need.”

That reassurance sends a fluttering of emotions through Q. No one has ever said that to him. They’ve needed his skill, his intelligence, but never has anyone said they needed him to just be himself.

“Okay,” Q answers, a shy, soft smile on his face and a light blush dusting across his cheeks. Even if things don’t end up anywhere with Alec, Q knows Alec is probably the best friend he could possibly ever ask for in this moment.


	3. A Nickel for Your Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you just need to feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I passed my Trig Final, which is great, but I haven't been healing from my fall a few weeks ago because I don't think my family quite understands that I'm supposed to actually rest and driving places (like to and from work and college) and standing and walking (for hours to do my job and get around) isn't helping. 
> 
> This chapter has endearingly been brought to you through the inspiration of the song, Hello My Old Heart by The Oh Hellos. I love this band and gladly recommend them.
> 
> Also, I need to offer a bit of explanation for part of this chapter. As writers we know that word choice can be valuable. It's like the difference from reaching out to a drowning person and telling them "give me your hand" or "take my hand" and knowing there's a difference between an offer and a demand. In this chapter, there's an instance where Q kind of waivers between emotions and it's because of the factor of choice and just how important it can be for someone who rarely feels like something can be a choice.

Time passes slowly, but it does pass and Q can honestly say that spending time with Alec has advantages. While he had initially agreed because he was flattered, the same could not be said for the present.

Q doesn’t know Alec any better than Alec knows Q. In fact, what they know about each other can be limited to a common love for explosives and a mild interest in video games, languages, and expletives that go with limited free time offered to them by the mandatory downtime.

It starts with questions.

“So…why cats?”

Q side-eyes Alec. “Why not?”

“It's just…you seem like someone fond of actually going out and spending time with people,” Alec flails while trying to find a better explanation.

Q answers out of amusement at seeing a 00 flail more than anything. “Cats are self-sufficient and can be left alone for longer periods of time than a lot of other animals and can, on occasion, require affection or silent companionship. While I am fond of hanging out with people, I don’t like having to lie, which kind of limits the number of people I can hang out with and spend time talking to outside without having to answer a bunch of questions with only partial truths. Besides, animals don’t judge…or at least, cat’s only judge you when they think you’re being particularly stupid.”

“That’s fair,” Alec says after a while.

It’s the easiest conversation Q has ever had with a colleague regarding something personal. Alec didn’t laugh or mock him in the least for his distaste for lies or tell him that he should have chosen a different job.

Alec, though Q hesitates to admit it even to himself, is never going to be a distraction in the way people assumed since the two began hanging out more, because Alec did something no one else has ever done. 

Alec gave him, is giving him, a choice. He’s only making an offer and leaving it to Q’s discretion. He hasn’t pushed. He hasn’t told Q to do something or make a choice. All he did was offer. Q could either take it or leave it. It’s the sort of offer that can leave a person breathless.

“Why me?” It comes out during a break between missions, uttered so softly, Alec almost can’t hear, but it makes him look at Q with an expression that makes Q feel like he’s the focus of Alec’s world. He isn’t, he knows, because that’s been James longer than Q has even been in their lives, but it’s something undeniably _soft_ for a 00 that brings back the fluttering emotions that leave Q helpless in the presence of this man in ways he never was, could never be, with James.

For a while it almost seems like Alec won’t answer, it makes Q look away but apparently Alec is better than the other 00s in knowing Q. Or maybe he just pays more attention. Q can never really tell, considering how the 00s tend to lock onto certain aspects more than others like some type of predator scenting prey.

Alec brings his hand to Q’s line of sight, and slowly raises it to lift Q’s chin. “Why not you? I trust you with my life on a regular basis; I trust you to equip me for missions, to give me information, to tell me what you think I need to know, and, creator forbid, I know that if I needed to go to ground for something because of the possibility of a mole or the mission taking the worst sort of turn, I know that you’d be more than willing to take that sort of step to help. In a way, you’re the 00s’ version of your cats. You’re here when we need you, you’re our companion when we’re away, the voice in our ears when things go wrong, and if we were dying, you’d still stay with us to the last and probably wreak havoc and vengeance on whoever messed with those you’ve claimed as yours. Most importantly, I’ve never seen you judge us. Snark, sass, or berate? Sure, but you’ve never flinched from us while coming down from a mission high or sent us away when we needed you, just directed us somewhere to vent.”

Q can’t help the strangled, sad sounding bark of laughter that escapes him as he closes his eyes and shakes his head. He can feel the tears pooling in his eyes but won’t let them fall. He doesn’t want to explain that he’s happy. That someone understands what he’s offering with his somewhat silent support and has actually taken that as an okay to get close. It makes Q ache and want. He wants to be exactly what Alec says he is, but only Alec has ever seen him like that and Q is so touch starved right now he can’t say he doesn’t want to lean in and take advantage of what Alec is offering…but that wouldn’t be fair to Alec. Not right now.

“You’re really a marvel Alec,” Q deflects, a half smile quirked on his lips as he opens his eyes. “MI6 underestimates you, don’t they?”

Alec understands this too. “Well…I can’t give away all my secrets, now can I?”

“Just to me then?” Q jokes, but Alec looks at him far too seriously, all his focus on Q, and his answer sounds more like a promise.

“Just you.”


	4. A Dime For Your Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it’s harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want.” – Unknown

Alec is away on a mission when things finally come to head for Q. Q honestly wishes that he could say he expected it, but he had never thought James could be so callous, so cruel, especially when the man still held battered pieces of Q’s heart.

“How easy was it for you?” James asks, a grimace on his face, holding back either a frown or a sneer, Q can’t quite tell which.

“Excuse me?”

“How easy was it to trade me for my best friend?”

“I’m going to stop you right there, James. I did no such thing, but even if I had, have you tried looking in the mirror?”

“Eve’s a friend.”

“So is Alec.”

“That’s not how it looks.”

Q snorts. “Yeah, well, seeing as I could say the same for you two, you really shouldn’t be throwing stones in a glass house Mr. Bond. Isn’t there a saying loose lips sink ships? Of course, an old battleship like you should know more than me, isn’t that right? I never could tell…”

Q lets his voice trail off and clears his throat. He isn’t going to give that much of himself away, not today, definitely not in the middle of their workplace.

James’ eyes are dark and contemplative. “Are you saying this is my fault?”

Q sighs. “No, it’s not. We’re not very good at communicating and neither of us made any promises or obligations.”

“That wasn’t the point Q.”

“Then what is James? Do you want me to feel bad? To tell you I miss hanging out with you? What do you want me to say here? Yes, I miss you. Yes, I miss hanging out with Eve, but I’m not going to beg people who are supposed to be my friends _to be my friends_. You either care or you don’t, you’re around or you’re not, I don’t need scraps and I don’t want to feel like a second thought,” Q says with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose beneath the glasses.

“So you’re…what? Giving up on the friendships? Just not going to talk to us?” James asks with a scowl on his face.

Q stares at James, their eyes meeting and communicating something Q isn’t fully certain he understands. “James, I don’t want to fight with you. I care about you and Eve, but what you’re saying goes both ways. Neither of you have tried talking to me for more than a few minutes in the last few months. Alec drags me out of here. Alec makes time to come check up on me, he even checks in on me and calls just to talk even while on missions. Hell, Alec even bribed R to keep me fed and send me home every three days to make sure I’m getting rest. He’s being a friend. He’s a different kind of friend for you because you need different things, James, and right now it seems like you just want to take your friends for granted.”

“Well, it’s obvious where we stand then, isn’t it?” James stalks off, leaving Q feeling like he completely missed something.

“Q?”

“Yes, R?”

“Alec is asking for you.”

“Of course, R, I’ll be right there,” Q responds, getting up and running his hand through his hair.

“Sitrep, 006.”

“Are you alright, Q?”

“Not now, 006.”

“We’re talking when I get back.”

“When you get back,” Q agrees softly. Alec had a way of seeming so certain, like it was a promise he’d come back and Alec wasn’t in the habit of making promises he couldn’t keep. “Sitrep?”

“Mission complete, I just wanted to ask if you wanted me to grab anything from the villain’s lair to bring back.”

“You mean that for once you didn’t cause any explosions?” Q couldn’t help but tease.

“You wound me, Quartermaster, I don’t always cause explosions.”

“Only mostly,” R added, making Q giggle and Alec to proceed to take mock offense.

Q couldn’t help but smile. They made things so easy for him, it was almost like the conversation with James hadn’t happened…but it had. R saw the flicker of sadness in Q’s eyes and a small frown cross his face.

“Q? Villain tech?” R prompts.

“Right,” Q says, clearing his throat. “Anything you think might have additional evidence of their operations if you would 006.”

“You made it too easy Q, I already uploaded everything onto that pretty little flashdrive you gave me. I’ll be home before dinner.”

Q could tell Alec probably had a mock pout on his face, but it made him feel better knowing Alec was safe. “Well, then I’ll expect you and your tech back around then.”

“You’re no fun, Q.”

“Have a safe trip,006. Flight details are being sent to you as we speak.”

“See you soon, Q.”

Alec does get back before dinner and promptly drags Q to pick up take-out and go back to his flat so they can talk.

“Q?” Alec prompts, making Q sigh.

“You could let it go, just this once Alec.”

“Never, Q. Not when you’re obviously still upset.”

Q pulls his knees up to his chest and rests his arms atop them, hugging them as he relents. “James and I had a discussion today.”

“Sounds like it was a bit more than that, Kotyenok.”

“Not a kitten.”

“When you stop sulking like one of your cats I might relent, but until then, Kotyenok, you’re my kitten. Now, what did he say to upset you so?”

“…it wasn’t what he said, it was what he implied.”

“Talk to me, don’t hold everything in, Q.”

“He asked,” Q coughs, trying to clear his throat, but it feels blocked. Getting the words out when he feels so choked up about it, when the hurt feels so fresh...it’s too much. “He asked how easy it was for me to trade him for you.”

Alec makes a sound halfway between a growl and a snort. “He doesn’t know you as well as I thought if he could ask you something like that, Kotyenok.”

Alec moves closer to Q on the couch, pulling Q from his position and toward him so that he could embrace Q into a protective hug.

“I thought he knew me better,” Q chokes out in a whisper.

“Hey,” Alec says softly, tilting Q’s head up so he could look at him while he caresses and gently wipes away the tears Q is only vaguely aware of dripping down his face. “I love you.”

“What?” Q’s response is half breathless and half strangled. He knows. Alec is demonstrative and tactile, where Q would normally shy away, it’s hard when Alec is so damn affectionate.

“I love you,” Alec repeats, tone firm. “That’s why I don’t understand. It’s an anathema to me that James could hurt you when he so obviously loves you too.”

Q shakes his head. “You don’t have to say that Alec. It’s okay. It’s okay that he doesn’t. I just…I was just so sure that he could be everything I want. It hurts more that…”

“It hurts more because now you’re pretty certain you’ll never have any type of relationship that would keep him in your life?” Alec poses, entirely too understanding.

“I don’t understand why he just doesn’t get it,” Q shakes his head, curling further into Alec.

“He doesn’t have to,” Alec corrects him softly. “You shouldn’t have to explain at all. When you’re with someone you love, that’s all there is. You just…exist together, just be who you are, come as you are and they either accept that or they don’t, but you should never feel less or like you have to change.”

Alec sounds so certain, so passionate about that belief, it makes Q smile and his heart feel light. Maybe Alec was right. He wasn’t what Q expected or wanted…but he was what Q needed in his life. It made things so easy, when he thought about things the way Alec did so clearly.

“Q?”

“I’ll be okay, Alec,” Q says, pressing a soft kiss to Alec’s lips. “Maybe we aren’t quite where we should be for a relationship just yet, but I trust you Alec. I trust you and I think I could love you.”

Alec hums thoughtfully. “We’ll just have to see then.”

“We’ll just have to see where this leads us,” Q confirms, smiling as Alec’s arm squeezes him gently and wraps him more firmly against his side.


End file.
